A is for...assertions.

Hello all my wonderful people who take the time to read my blog! I guess I've had a really boring semester considering I haven't had anything to blog about! But that's not true, I've had a wonderful semester! I've just been busy!! Which may surprise those of you who have seen just how often I actually go to class....you guys probably think I have loads of free time! (Just kidding mom, I go to all my classes always!) But anyway, I just came to the realization that I absolutely love to write! ....K so maybe this isn't exactly a new revelation. I've always loved writing, but it did just come to my attention that I miss it! So here I am! ....at 3 in the morning...woohoo! Unfortunately, nothing wonderfully hilarious, adventurous, or awkward has happened in my life recently so considering the fact that my first year of college is coming to a close, I figured I would take some time to reflect on all of the wonderful life lessons I have learned this past year! So sit back, relax, and prepare to be enlightened!

#1 8:30 College Time Does NOT Equal 8:30 High School Time
My entire high school career I made it to school in time for class at 8:30 sharp EVERY DAY! And school started even earlier in junior high and elementary school and I never had a problem being on time. So a 9:00 class shouldn't be a big deal, right? WRONG! Time is warped in college and all the sudden if your alarm is  going off any earlier than 10:30 it sounds like a million demonic souls shrieking at you from the very depths of  Hell. Trust me, I've tried going to bed early and everything, but somehow, even if I have gotten a good 9 hours of sleep the night before, making it to a 9:00 class is NEVER an easy task. Honestly, I'm pretty proud of myself for getting there most of the semester. But let's just say, lesson learned! And never again will I register for a class that starts earlier than a jovial 11:00. (Alright, in all honesty, I probably will, but I like to think that I won't).

#2 Cooking Seldom Goes Beyond TV Dinners and Poptarts
No matter how often I tell myself I am going to cook nice meals, ramen and hot pockets will always sound better. Not because they taste better, but the ratio of effort to satisfaction is unbeatable. You see, after an exhausting day of sleeping through class, watching Netflix, and mindlessly checking Facebook, I simply do not have the motivation to make anything requiring more than five minutes of my time or two ingredients. Not to mention, you can get ramen and hot pockets for dirt cheap and they last for like...ever! That's one thing I've noticed about my cooking habits....is even when I go grocery shopping and get all motivated to eat better and buy fruits and vegetables and all that "healthy stuff," I never consume it before it goes bad. And there is nothing worse than throwing away rotten money! So folks, here's the solution. Ramen, HotPockets, Poptarts, and a hearty supply of Oreos. Not only will you have food readily available to you in a matter of minutes whenever you want it, but you'll also be able to take all that money you're saving by not buying healthy food and treat yourself to ice cream every once in a while! Or maybe you'll really treat yourself and go out to eat--and by go out, I mean call Jimmy Johns, Pizza Hut, or any other place that will bring their food to you, thus minimizing the amount of effort required. This will also make you develop a deeper appreciation for family members who occasionally invite you over and feed you an actual home cooked meal!

#3 Your Future Self is NEVER as Motivated as You Think She/He Will Be
This year I have definitely relied on "Future Alex" a little too much. You see, when I have to choose between studying and staying up until one in the morning shooting my roommate's Beatles poster with a Nerf gun, obviously I can choose the latter because "Future Alex" is going to study extra hard tomorrow and she will most certainly ace that test! ...well if only "Future Alex" didn't turn into "Present Alex" whom I already know is incredibly lazy and good for nothing! (Okay, she's definitely not good for nothing, I mean, she does know how to have a good time, she's just no good for homework or virtually anything productive).

So eventually, because your future self sucks at life, you WILL find yourself with about two week's worth of homework to do on one night and that, my friends, will be the night that you decide your procrastinating has simply gotten out of hand and you will commit to being a better student and staying on top of things from that moment on. Aaaand then the next day will roll around, you'll get another homework assignment, and since you did about fourteen and a half long hours of homework the day before, you can defer just that one assignment to your future self. And then, just that one assignment turns into just those two and then just those four and pretty soon, you'll find yourself exactly where you were before. But that's okay, because "Future Alex" can deal with all that!

#4 Sleep = GOOD
They weren't lying all those times they said you needed your sleep back when you were like 2 and fought naptime like a dog being taken to the vet to be fixed. Boy do I wish I could take all those naps I didn't want back then and use them now! Never underestimate the power of a good nap! The key is to try to squeeze those naps in when you're NOT in class....but you know, sometimes you just have one class that is completely pointless but falls in the middle of all the rest of your classes *cough cough* anthropology *cough cough* and in that case, it is occasionally okay to catch up on your sleep there. Let me tell you about my theory on nightly sleeping.

Obviously, if you get like six or more hours, you'll be good the next day! At least, that's what the "experts" say so even if they're completely crazy and wrong, the placebo effect has our backs and we'll be okay! If you by chance stay up a little too late making crepes for a French project or cleaning your apartment for the cleaning check you have first thing in the morning, all is not lost! Three or fewer hours of sleep is just like a nice power nap and you will be good to go for most of the rest of the day! (You might crash around five or six, but you'll be up and ready to start the night's adventures by eight or nine). However, if you're unfortunate enough that the amount of sleep you got falls between those two divisions, well, I truly apologize. You WILL be a zombie for the entirety of the next day and it is for these occasions I recommend having a hearty supply of Mtn Dew, Dr Pepper, and any other caffeinated drink which pleases you.

#5 Netflix is Your Best Friend
But for real, Netflix is always there for you. When you need a distraction from homework, it's there for you. When you can't sleep at night, it's there for you. When you're just plain bored, it's there for you. Get the picture? Netflix is good! It's good I'm telling you!! No! I don't have a Netflix problem! I only watch one or two [seasons] in one sitting. Okay, so in all reality, Netflix can be a real life saver! Especially when you don't have cable....or even a tv that hooks up to a dvd player, it's nice to be able to shut own all cognitive

processes and zone out for a little bit. A few good laughs later and it's like you're completely rejuvenated and ready to tackle that homework you thought your future self would have done long ago. And you know, despite popular belief, college students don't have wild parties every night (or maybe that's just BYU) and more often than you'd think, socializing turns into a movie night (like always) and it's nice to have a supply of some good movies and a lot of mediocre movies and even more awful movies to choose from (even though you will probably end up spending more time deciding on a movie than actually watching one). Just be careful when selecting a new television series to watch, cause if you choose the wrong one and get over-invested, well you can say goodbye to the outside world for the next week while you lock yourself in and watch all six seasons back to back.

So there you go. Nine months and a few thousand dollars later, I'd say I have learned some useful things here at college. Now I'm just counting down the days until summer when I get to sleep in and enjoy home cooked meals all the time! LAWL! That's a joke! More like waking up even earlier every to get to work so that I can afford to come to more college and learn even more useful stuff! But hey, s'all good! I'm figuring out this "being a responsible adult thing." ....well, it's an ongoing process okay! I'm working on the "adult" part right now. I'll leave the "responsible" part to Future Alex! :)