A is for...anxiety.

Well ladies and gentlemen, it's finals week. You know, it's funny, I didn't think a church school would host such an unholy devilish week of horror. Yet here I find myself in the midst of what could quite possibly be the worst week of my life! But you know what, it's okay....I'm surviving....haven't failed anything...yet. My

student government adviser in high school, Mr. Baczuk, once told us that journaling can help calm you down and clear your mind resulting in better performance on tests, and blogging is similar to journaling right? So I've resorted to depending on my blog to ease my anxiety and get me through my remaining tests this week.

So basically, for the last couple of weeks, I've had this false sense of security. With classes winding down, even though I begged it not to, my brain decided to wind down as well. I was well aware that I couldn't afford to check out for the year quite yet, but I just couldn't help it. So in attempt to give my mind a quick reprieve, I skipped town immediately after my last class ended (and by skipped town, I mean I spent two days about thirty miles away in Draper, helping my aunt with her kids and Christmas shopping).

Unfortunately, I had to go back to school bright and early Friday morning and then proceeded to spend the ENTIRE DAY in reviews. Don't get me wrong, reviews are great! They're usually very helpful in preparing for tests, but after about three of them (in a row) they get kind of...well...I don't know...HORRIBLE!! But you know what, it was good. It kind of forced my brain to turn back on and remember everything that I have learned this semester. So when my roommates invited me to their study party in the library that night, I was on board and ready to learn! (yipee!) Towards the end of the semester, the library stays open until 2:00 am, so you know, why not take full advantage and stay there until it closes? Yeah....don't think I ever wanna study past midnight again! (Actually, I never want to study again, period) But there is one good thing about staying until the library closes. For the last fifteen minutes they blast upbeat music! I think it's to wake everyone up and let them know it's time to get out. It's pretty fun though! Like, it just gives me a second wind! When that music starts playing I feel like I can take on the world! I wish they'd blast music every time I walked out of the library...

So as a reward for so diligently studying, we all decided to go to Denny's once we had been kicked out of the library! I guess going to Denny's at absurd hours has kind of been the norm for me lately. But let me tell

Note, this photo was taken after
a lot of people had left...I swear
it was busier than it looks!

ya, Denny's at two in the morning in a college town is much different from Denny's at two in the morning in Idaho Falls. It was packed! Like I seriously had no idea that Denny's ever had that many people there! I'm actually almost positive that there were more people there at 2:00 than had been there during the day the entire week. Finals week probably helps a lot with business what with college students needing a pancake fix after studying for an obscene number of hours!

 So after having spent basically my entire weekend studying, I was feeling pretty confident about my upcoming tests (well at least the half I had studied for that weekend) Sunday night. At about midnight, my roommate Shalee prompted me to go to bed, so that I'd have a good night's rest and be ready to conquer a week full of finals. So I heeded her advice and put my computer away, turned off my light, and laid down to

go to sleep. As I was laying there, the most horrible thought came to me! In the midst of all my studying, I had not had time to check Facebook that day! Well I couldn't possibly go to bed without knowing what all of those people whom I had apparently met at some point in my life but no longer really care much about had been up to that day! So I grabbed my phone and opened up Facebook, just for a quick check. About twenty minutes later, once I had confirmed my assumption that I really hadn't missed out on anything by not checking Facebook (but at least I knew that I hadn't missed something great), I just had to get on Pinterest....real quick! Yeah...if you're an avid pinner like me, you know that "Pinterest" and "real quick" don't belong in the same sentence EVER, unless there is a negating word in the middle. So about half an hour (quite possibly much, much longer) later, I finally put my phone down and rolled over to go to sleep. But then I had a problem! I just wasn't tired! But alas, I had a great solution! I'd just start a movie and then I was certain to fall asleep in the midst of it (as I most often do). So I grabbed my computer and turned on my favorite movie, Pitch Perfect. Approximately 112 minutes later, guess who was still awake?! Yep, that'd be me! But at this point, the anxiety that I didn't even know I had for finals started to manifest itself. I seriously had a full out panic attack right there in my bed! Deciding that I needed some fresh air, I quietly got out of bed and snuck out of my room (trying my very best not to wake Shalee, who had already woken up once and given me a dirty look for not being asleep like we had agreed on at midnight). Before I got to the front door of my

My schedule for this week

apartment, I realized that there was noise coming from Michaela's room. Yes, Michaela, Kelsi, and Tanisha were still wide awake as well! I couldn't resist popping into their room to see what was going on, and I definitely stayed there much longer than intended! I only left after I had mentioned that I was not feeling well (due to anxiety) and Tanisha had a total meltdown out of fear of me getting sick (she has a pathological fear of throwing up). Yeah, that was my cue to leave. Back in my room, I picked up a book, positive that reading would lull me to sleep. 100 pages later.....yeah, by this point I had pretty much given up on life. I had come to terms with the fact that I would probably never fall asleep, resulting in me failing my finals, resulting in me getting kicked out of college, resulting in me living under an overpass. You know what, that future was surprisingly easy to accept at 5:00 in the morning....but luckily for me, I eventually drifted off to sleep, slept in till 1:00, and totally rocked the final I took that day. So it looks like I'll be avoiding the overpass life for now!

I know this post is already kind of long, but I'd just like to throw in the fact that I'm not the only one who has been affected by finals week. Last night, as we were going to bed, Shalee, who normally turns off the light and is instantly asleep, started a conversation that went like this...

Shalee: I miss Dex

Me: I wish I could bring him to you

Shalee: No, I wouldn't want him to come home early

Me: No! I wish I could fast forward time and bring him to you

Shalee: Yeah! That'd be great! Did you know we're coming back from our missions within a few weeks of each other?

Me: Coincidence? I think not

Shalee: It's definitely coincidence! Oh my goodness, why is life so great? Oh my gosh! I'm going on a mission! I'm so excited! Oh my gosh! I'm going to Bolivia! What am I even going to do there?! I can't do this! Why is life so complicated! I need a shoe!

Me: Why do you need a shoe?

Shalee: (hopping out of bed and searching for a shoe) I'm going to throw it at the wall! I don't want to hit you, so duck! (She then proceeds to chuck a shoe at the wall!)

Me: Why'd you do that?!

Shalee: Now Chandler will think you kicked the wall! Oh my gosh, I'm gonna call Kelsi!

She then called Kelsi, babbled to her about how she was wide awake and wanted food (Kelsi and Michaela were going to McDonalds) and then hung up the phone and was basically instantly asleep! It was pretty funny!! (Love ya Shalee!)  I'm going to miss that girl!! She is hands down the best roommate I could ask for! But I know there are people in Bolivia just waiting for her to get there to teach them the gospel!

So yep, that's basically all I've got! Sorry that was so long! But now, according to Baczuk's theory, I should pretty much kill the rest of my finals! And then I'll be home free!! Hooray for Christmas break!!